The following is an article that I found interesting and I think is good for parents as well as coaches:
Girls and boys are different (duh!)
Coaching girls: It’s different than coaching boys. I’ve waited a long time to write about
this because male coaches (and some female) tend to be skeptical about my
observations. I will plunge ahead anyway, because during 21 years of coaching
girls at the high school level, I experienced the same unique issues, year after
year. Please understand that not every girl reacts the same way to all
situations, but the patterns are pretty common. My goal in letting myself in for
all the protests I will receive, is to get parents and coaches to realize girls
and boys are different (duh) and need to be coached with the differences in
mind.
My first piece of advice when addressing coaches of girls’ teams is that
they should “Stock up on antacids.” That’s when I begin to get the puzzled looks
from the new coaches in my audience. The experienced coaches, however, begin to
chuckle and nod. They know what I’m talking about. One fellow, who had a lot of
coaching experience with both boys and girls teams, complained that, “someone is
always crying.”
Yep. Girls may cry when they’re happy, when they're sad,
when they lose or when they win. Neither yelling at them nor being nice to them
will do much to stem the tide of tears. Handling the emotional swings of young
female athletes is a very real part of a coach’s job; and it’s not an easy one.
Most of us know a lot about the sport itself but not so much about how to
channel emotions into helping a player succeed.
I’ll give just a few examples
in how girls react differently to competition and coaching than boys do. Girls
will overreact to criticism and may believe everything you tell them to do
differently is criticism. They’re very afraid of making mistakes. Hearing cheers
from fans may make them nervous rather than determined. Coaches must spend a lot
of time teaching girls that mistakes are OK and how to handle
adversity.
Competition is hard for many girls. Girls want to be liked and
popular. Aggressively trying to beat someone goes against the “rules” for
becoming popular, and that especially makes competing against a teammate very
uncomfortable. Be careful about arranging challenge matches of any kind. The
fallout of hard feelings can show up and affect teamwork for the rest of the
season. Coaches must pay attention to helping girls understand they can still be
liked and respected while competing well.
Girls need to be taught what it
means to be a team player. Gossip and cliques are big problems. Girls will often
ostracize the stars. Team dynamics can be wrecked if dissension breaks out
between players. Generally, it is not as important to girls to win as it is to
be liked and popular. You have a big problem if one of your players gets dumped
by her boyfriend at lunch. She will bring all those emotions to practice or the
game. Heaven help you if that boy starts dating someone else on your team!
The main priority of most female athletes is to not be embarrassed!
That priority helps them be receptive to trying to improve. They will listen to
advice (as long as it doesn’t sound like criticism) and try really hard in
practice. Unfortunately, embarrassment is also gets in the way of winning, as
they may be more afraid of looking bad than losing. Fear can mess with their
effort during competition. A bad hair day, an ugly uniform or a big error can
all divert her attention from competing well. Be sensitive to this.
Yes, there emotional issues to deal with in coaching girls. Hang in there. It can be
the most rewarding job you’ve ever had. You just have to use what you know about
differences to help your players. My biggest thrill in coaching was to watch
emotional, nervous, tentative freshmen girls grow into strong, confident,
resilient young women as graduates. Girls who play for the love of the sport are
so much fun. They need understanding and caring coaches. Be one.
Karen Coffin, retired coach, is a member of the P.C.H.S. Athletic Hall of Fame.
Girls and boys are different (duh!)
Coaching girls: It’s different than coaching boys. I’ve waited a long time to write about
this because male coaches (and some female) tend to be skeptical about my
observations. I will plunge ahead anyway, because during 21 years of coaching
girls at the high school level, I experienced the same unique issues, year after
year. Please understand that not every girl reacts the same way to all
situations, but the patterns are pretty common. My goal in letting myself in for
all the protests I will receive, is to get parents and coaches to realize girls
and boys are different (duh) and need to be coached with the differences in
mind.
My first piece of advice when addressing coaches of girls’ teams is that
they should “Stock up on antacids.” That’s when I begin to get the puzzled looks
from the new coaches in my audience. The experienced coaches, however, begin to
chuckle and nod. They know what I’m talking about. One fellow, who had a lot of
coaching experience with both boys and girls teams, complained that, “someone is
always crying.”
Yep. Girls may cry when they’re happy, when they're sad,
when they lose or when they win. Neither yelling at them nor being nice to them
will do much to stem the tide of tears. Handling the emotional swings of young
female athletes is a very real part of a coach’s job; and it’s not an easy one.
Most of us know a lot about the sport itself but not so much about how to
channel emotions into helping a player succeed.
I’ll give just a few examples
in how girls react differently to competition and coaching than boys do. Girls
will overreact to criticism and may believe everything you tell them to do
differently is criticism. They’re very afraid of making mistakes. Hearing cheers
from fans may make them nervous rather than determined. Coaches must spend a lot
of time teaching girls that mistakes are OK and how to handle
adversity.
Competition is hard for many girls. Girls want to be liked and
popular. Aggressively trying to beat someone goes against the “rules” for
becoming popular, and that especially makes competing against a teammate very
uncomfortable. Be careful about arranging challenge matches of any kind. The
fallout of hard feelings can show up and affect teamwork for the rest of the
season. Coaches must pay attention to helping girls understand they can still be
liked and respected while competing well.
Girls need to be taught what it
means to be a team player. Gossip and cliques are big problems. Girls will often
ostracize the stars. Team dynamics can be wrecked if dissension breaks out
between players. Generally, it is not as important to girls to win as it is to
be liked and popular. You have a big problem if one of your players gets dumped
by her boyfriend at lunch. She will bring all those emotions to practice or the
game. Heaven help you if that boy starts dating someone else on your team!
The main priority of most female athletes is to not be embarrassed!
That priority helps them be receptive to trying to improve. They will listen to
advice (as long as it doesn’t sound like criticism) and try really hard in
practice. Unfortunately, embarrassment is also gets in the way of winning, as
they may be more afraid of looking bad than losing. Fear can mess with their
effort during competition. A bad hair day, an ugly uniform or a big error can
all divert her attention from competing well. Be sensitive to this.
Yes, there emotional issues to deal with in coaching girls. Hang in there. It can be
the most rewarding job you’ve ever had. You just have to use what you know about
differences to help your players. My biggest thrill in coaching was to watch
emotional, nervous, tentative freshmen girls grow into strong, confident,
resilient young women as graduates. Girls who play for the love of the sport are
so much fun. They need understanding and caring coaches. Be one.
Karen Coffin, retired coach, is a member of the P.C.H.S. Athletic Hall of Fame.